The Tree Squeak – Jim Dover tells a tale
It was at a camp out to the Drivas property on the
Waupaca River we were sitting around a camp fire. A breeze that had cooled a mid-August day
moved some branches of a nearby tree.
The branches cause a loud squeak as they rubbed against each other. This must have reminded Jim Dover of a tale
he knew from his home in Missouri.
As the campers burned their marshmallows on the coals
of the campfire Jim took off his belt.
“Here” he said, “take a look at this belt, maybe rub it a little so you
kind of get to know it.” The belt was
passed around and each camper wondered what was different about it. After each camper had handled the belt Jim
stood up and put it on.
“That there belt,” he said, “come off a dead man. He'd been killed ‘cause he was careless. I was the one that found him in the
woods. This here nice belt was on him. I
says he's dead. He don't need it any more. So I took it.
Anyone who goes out into the woods when the Tree Squeaks are talking has
got to be just plain dumb. A Tree Squeak
jumped from a tree and wrapped about his face and suffocated the dumb
flatlander. Any of you ever heard of a
Tree Squeak?”
None of the boys ever had and questioned Jim if there
was such an animal.
“Well, that's why I called the dead man dumb. He was from a city where the Tree Sneaks
don't live. So he being a smart ass
didn't take no precautions. Just because
no one says they never see one don't mean that there aren't none. They live in all the forests in this country
and some places where there's just a few trees, you know like here.
“A Tree Squeak looks just like a bump on a tree
limb. They's just look like tree
bark. You'all can look right at 'em and
never see 'em. Most of the time they are
just layin' on a branch or sticking to the side of a tree. The only time you
can tell they are around is when they make out the loud squeak you just heard
here.
“You know that there is a Tree Squeak around when you
look up into a tree and see a branch that has no bark on it. Some will tell you that it is just a branch
what died and the bark fell off. Maybe
they know that a Tree Squeak is living in that tree and don't want to scare
you. Or maybe they don't like you
perticually and hope the Tree Squeak gets you.
You see all a Tree Squeak ever eats is bark. Of course you can be dumb as that dead man
whose belt I got and walk under that tree with the branch without bark. Just maybe the Tree Squeak has left to eat
bark off another tree or maybe he is a bump on the tree.
“So here's how it works. You don't look up to see a branch what all
the bark is gone. You walk under the
tree. The Tree Squeak gets afraid you
are there to kill it. It makes plans to
get you first. It waits until you are
just right under it. Pay loop it drops
on you and wraps tight around your face.
You fight to get it off. It don't
come off and you can't breathe. When the
Tree Squeak knows you’re a goner, it slips back up the tree. Somebody comes and drags off your
carcass. The Tree Squeak don't get the
guy what drags you off cause it don't want your carcass left to stink up his
tree. The coroner looks over your remains and can't find no
reason you cashed in and writes heart failure on the death certificate. No one blames the Tree Squeak and it remains
hidden in plain site on a tree.
“Once in a while a person says they seen one on the
ground with a flashlight at night. That
is probably a make up story as the Tree Squeak stops dead still if it gets a
light on it. You see if it moved in the
day you would be able to see it. I have
heard of people tripping on them at night and falling but the Tree Squeak can't
get around their face so it just stays as stiff as a stick.
“I hope that you looked at the trees here very
carefully so you know which ones have branches without bark on 'em. That squeak we heard lets us know there is
one here. When you get up to pee tonight be sure it is not under a Tree
Squeak, Manny would not like it if we
brought you back to camp after a Tree Squeak got you.
“Just thought I'd tell ya about something most people
don't know about. What you all think of
my belt?”